


Full Moon Wanderings

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Post-Sirius in Azkaban
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:26:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius finds himself under a full moon two years after Remus' death, and thinking about all the things that led up to that moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full Moon Wanderings

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

TITLE: Full Moon Wanderings

AUTHOR: Maple Tide

E-MAIL: mapletide@fastmail.fm

DISCLAIMER: The characters involved that are from the Harry Potter universe are the property of J. K. Rowling and all associated publishers (including Scholastic Press, Bloomsburg, and Raincoast). I'm just borrowing them for my own nefarious purposes. The plot involved, any stray characters that may crop up, and any other things that don't belong to her belong to me. I'm not seeking to make any money off of this; rather I'm going it for fun and for the chance to get it out of my own imagination before it drives me even more insane. Understood? =) Good. Oh, and before I forget, Rowling's policy about fanfiction can be found here: http://writersu.s5.com/law/moreharrypotter.html.

RATING: PG

CATEGORY: Angst

KEYWORDS: Sirius, Remus, full moon, death

SPOILERS: PoA

PAIRING(S): Remus/Sirius

ARCHIVE: Marauder Me. Wolf and Hound.

FEEDBACK: Please? I can be reached at mapletide@fastmail.fm

SUMMARY: Sirius finds himself under a full moon two years after Remus' death, and thinking about all the things that led up to that moment.

\-----

I stand there, staring at the stars, or those that remain. I find my own blazing brightly in defiance of the light, or perhaps because of. It's all about perspective, I can almost hear you whisper in my ear, in my mind, and I close my eyes against the searing pain that tears through me.

Anyone who says that it gets easier with time lied.

It never gets any easier to make these steps without you. I can't afford to wallow in my own misery, there's too much to do, too much to fight against. So I throw myself into my work, throw myself into protecting Harry. You bid me do so, and recalled to my mind the promise I made to James, to Lily so many years ago. I close my eyes and laugh at the part of you that lives on through me.

You wove yourself so completely into my life, love, that I find myself even taking on those patterns of speech, ever so proper, that you were so fond of. Yet, beyond that there is a hollow space inside my heart as I walk beneath the moon you asked me to look to. This is the one day a month I allow myself a reprieve from the strict control that I command over my own thoughts and emotions.

No one ever understood you. I remember that. No one ever understood us. I took that as a given. We lived, and we loved, and we grasped every moment as though it was something to be treasured, hoarded them as though they were going to be stolen from us at any given moment.

I never expected that in order to save us both, you'd just let go. Let go and slip beyond to the world of neverending dream and adventure. I clung to you as long as I could, until you slipped beyond my grasp. I felt something in me break, then, and what I told you you of my fear was an understatement to the reality.

I feared my sanity was lost in that moment. The sanity I fought so hard to gain through those years nearly slipped through my fingers. However, I recalled your last wish to me, and could almost hear that voice of yours murmuring it directly into my ear. The same voice that whispered hotly the things you were going to do to me before carrying through on your promise, on your threat. On your promise.

I stare at the full moon for a while, and marvel at all that has happened. Two years. I didn't think I could make it a day without you at my side. Yet, in some indecipherable way, you have been. Sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I think I can see you. The scent of you hovers around for just an instant, a tease, and then it's gone. I can hear you.

Oh sweet Merlin, can I ever hear you.

"Sirius..."

That voice of yours, tinged with impatience. You weren't perfect, not as patient as so many thought you were. Oh, often you were, but when you didn't think I was listening, when you were trying to tell me something important, an edge of impatience entered that oh-so-calm voice of yours.

"Sirius..."

There it is again. I close my eyes and tilt my face up to the full moon light, borrowed light, and try to ignore it. I am half-convinced that I'm imagining it.

"Do you know how many times that I've dreamed of seeing you like this? Me, fully human under the light of the full moon, watching as it bathed you in that light. Oh, love, my innocence was lost so long ago."

I turn at the sound of it, and behind me, beside me, stands a smiling Remus Lupin. It wasn't something I ever would have thought possible. The smile worsens, becomes totally insufferable, and I want to kiss it off of his face before it twists into the smirk that was so often seen there upon his visage when he was up to something.

"Sirius... it's just me."

"How?" I ask.

"I've been waiting for you, and contrary to popular belief, I am **not** a patient man."

I pull him into my arms, and do what I've wanted to do for years. I devour his mouth with my own until we're both breathless and shaking. Finally I look into his eyes and before I'm lost forever, I find myself asking, "Why now?"

"It's time."

I understand instantly, and smile. "It's about bloody time."

"Indeed."

Then he swirls the cloak around us both, and we're gone. Harry is well able to tend for himself now, and the world will keep until we're needed again. Until then, we're going to force our own happy ending for a time.

Until the world calls us to battle again.

And I'm certain that when that happens, I'll still have him at my side.

\-----

-end-


End file.
